Storm Song

A Prayer to She Who Cannot Be Tamed

The Longing: Echoes of a Forgotten Mother

Soft raindrops floated downward, kissing emerald leaves before sliding soundlessly to the earth, hydrating and nourishing lush tea gardens, bright, wild hibiscus, deep purple Neelakurinji, jackfruit and banana trees, and delicate, pale pink trumpet flowers. Then slowly, subtly it built to a crescendo. Soon large, fat drops poured from the sky, each one a pregnant blessing of the Mother, giver of life.

Tintinnabulation on the rooftop forms a melody for the lyrics of my reflections. Sitting here, next to my mother as her tired, Alzheimer’s-stricken brain causes her to prattle on, endlessly repeating the same questions and thoughts in a maddening, heartbreaking loop, I smile and breathe through the irritation, rage and terror battling within me, consciously reaching for love and faith with every inbreath, calling on the power of the Sacred with every outbreath. When I am with her, all I can do is pray. I need the strength of something much, much bigger than me.

I have cared for and protected my mother from the time that I could walk, toddling over to her to offer tissues and hold her as she sobbed, standing between her and my father as they raged, drawing danger away whenever I could, for as long as I could. Who will I be when she is no longer here to need me? I remember the photo of me, barely more than a toddler in a toy nurse's uniform, cradling my baby sister—already learning that my role was to tend, to hold, to heal.

But it’s more complicated than that. As Alzheimer's storms through her, the hope within me– the little spark that keeps thinking maybe she will be able to be a mother to me, is also torn away.

The death of hope is such a terribly painful thing.

“I will never have a mother,” the little girl inside me wails.

“But you do,” the woman in me croons, “You do.”

My mother is Durga, Gaia, Pachamama, Buffalo Calf Woman, the Earth Herself. These thoughts calm me for a few breaths, then the grief returns like thunder. And I begin again.

Like the rain, her memory began to leave her years ago in small, silent drips, before building to a crescendo. Now, memories and brain function are torn from her as leaves in a massive storm, the crash of thunder and flash of lightning seeming to take on all of her past fierceness and strength, leaving her a small, empty shell. A bloom that has already faded and will soon drop from the plant, rejoining the earth.

Looking at me, her pupils tiny, black spots in her clear, blue eyes, I see myself, small and dark, reflected back.

Lightning strikes in the mountains before me. The distant echo of powerful thunder rumbles through the valley. The Divine Feminine is as fierce and powerful as she is gentle and nurturing. She comes close, then dances away, the storm decrescendoing as quickly as it grew.

As I gaze, transfixed at the power flashing before me, it comes to me that lightning is fire in motion, storm in form. It does not apologize for its brilliance or its destruction—it simply is. In that way, it mirrors the Divine Feminine. She is the storm and the flame, the flash that illuminates the truth, the blaze that clears away illusion, the rain that softens what’s been hardened. The balance to a world gone dry with hatred and scorched by the hunger for power. She is the truth revealed by lightning.

We all have the Divine Feminine and Masculine– yin and yang– within us. To ignore one is to refuse wholeness. It splinters the soul and leads to great imbalances. Violence, compulsion, anxiety, addiction, phobias, even war – are all symptoms of imbalance. True wholeness is found in balance. These days, we humans have collectively shifted too far towards the yang. It’s time to recalibrate. It’s time to call forth the Divine Feminine.

The Goddess** Durga: Forgotten, Feared, Fierce

Long ago, in a time when darkness had spread across the three realms, an evil asura (demon) named Mahishasura had risen to power. Born of a boon that made him invincible to man or god*, Mahishasura conquered heaven and earth, wreaking havoc and destruction wherever he went. No god could stop him.

Defeated and desperate, the gods gathered in the celestial mountains. From the depths of their anguish, they cried out for help—not to another god, but to Shakti, the eternal feminine force, the energy behind all creation.

In their collective fury, compassion, and hope, each god released a stream of divine light. These beams of light fused together into a blazing, radiant form—a woman, resplendent with cosmic power. She had ten arms, each bearing a weapon gifted by a different god, not to destroy, but to protect, to heal, to restore balance. Her lion companion roared beside her, and her eyes blazed with the fire of justice.

She was Durga, the invincible one, the embodiment of Shakti.

Mahishasura laughed when he first saw her. A woman? He thought her unworthy of fear. But as their battle raged on for nine nights and ten days, he realized he had underestimated her. Durga was not simply gentle or beautiful. She was fierce and focused, compassionate and courageous, nurturing and wild.

On the tenth day, Durga pierced the demon’s heart with her trident. He fell, and with him, the darkness began to fade.

The Betrayal: Denying the Fierce Feminine

The Divine Feminine is vital and yet often exiled—powerful, nurturing, intuitive, and cyclical. Goddess*. Woman. Earth.

I am a tiny woman. Barely larger than a child, really. And yet I cannot count the number of times I have been told that people fear me. I don’t want to incite fear. I find the idea repugnant. I used to try to soften myself. To blur the sharp edges in my eyes, to dampen the power in my heart. I used to try to hide my strength in order to make others more comfortable.

This is the definition of blasphemy.

Denying the Divine Feminine within ourselves and others is the deepest form of betrayal. And those who think they fear me? It’s really themselves that they fear. Their own weakness and foibles. None of that is real. I want to shout through their fear, to reach behind their pain and into their bright, powerful, equally fierce souls. All of this– this idea that a woman can only be soft, can only be weak, and that a strong woman must be feared– is Maya, an illusion.

I’ve often been labeled when I’ve refused to shrink. For standing tall, I’ve been called “bitch” or a “c*nt” more times than I can count. When did we grow to fear the power of the feminine? When did we collectively agree to deny it? And why?

I am grateful for the holy wildfire in my soul. Grateful for the strength that took up permanent residence in me as an infant, when rage swirled around me and harsh hands took hold of me. I knew all of my life that neither my mother nor my father could keep me safe. If I was to survive to fulfill my purpose, I had to do it with the help of Shakti and Shakti alone, like my true mother, Durga.

It is only because I am fierce that I survived my childhood. It is only because I am fierce that I have snatched a thousand lives and more from the clutches of demons who walk the earth disguised as men. Like Shakti, the cow whose face was shot, I learned to fight, to protect myself and all who needed protection.

And that burning, blazing fire inside me? Its origins are so ironic. Like Durga, I was formed by the light of all the gods. Goddess of all, encompassing all– the Divine Masculine having stoked the flames and called forth the Feminine out of a deep and howling need for balance.

If you are reading this, it is because that fierce Divine Feminine roars in your own soul. She is the one who fought the demons of your life. She is the reason that you are alive today and seeking healing. She is the part of you that keeps you strong.

The Teaching: Calling Forth the Mother

Penny Power

People often think that we do a great service to the animals by rescuing them. But that’s just more Maya. The animals, like me and you, rescue themselves through the power in their souls. Because nonhumans do not fall for Maya– illusion– learning from them can help us to clear the storm clouds in front of us– to see the truth with clear, strong vision and to boldly fight the demons that threaten us and those we love.

Just a few weeks ago, I met a cow named Justice. Bred at a “humane” farm and used for dairy, Justice was kept inside all of her life. The farm she came from has no pastures. From the time that she reached sexual maturity, she was forcibly impregnated every year, her babies sold for slaughter so that the farmers could profit from her mother’s milk. In decades of doing this rescue work, I have often met animals who fear men. But Justice? She fears women.

The farm that held her captive kept her collared, and also made her wear an anklet so that they could easily chain her in place. I was eager, after bringing her to the safety of Indraloka, to remove them. Time and again, I approached her, speaking gently, moving slowly. Yet, every time, panic took over and she bolted, running from me. Each time, I backed off. I didn’t want to terrorize her any further. She’s already endured lifetimes of that.

Finally one day, I decided that she absolutely needed that collar removed. Keeping it on her reminded her daily of the many ways in which her power was stolen from her. Softly, under my breath, each syllable quiet as a raindrop, I chanted “Om taare tuttare ture swahah,” asking the Goddess Tara to awaken in me and guide my movements. This time, I approached with purpose. She allowed me to scratch her and speak to her, but ran when I took hold of the collar.

This time I didn’t back off. I held on and ran with her.

Justice stopped running.

I let go of her collar.

She turned to face me and we looked into one another’s eyes. Namaste.

She exhaled.

I reached out and unbuckled her collar. With one more piercing look, she turned and walked away, slowly this time, and without fear. Acknowledging the Divine Feminine in each of us, we were able to banish fear together, and together we liberated her. She is free and ever will be so.

Justice’s panic when near women recalls the fear that so many of every gender have expressed towards me. Fear of the fierce and powerful side of the Divine Feminine, terror of the destructive power within. Giving in to this fear and trying to force women to act soft and weak, with their only power being channeled into creation but then immediately enslaved in service of that creation, is a wounding of the feminine.

We are so often our own victims.

I think about the ways in which fashion sexualizes young girls. A few years ago, it was all the rage for girls to wear shorts with objectifying messages written on them. And I say “all the rage” deliberately, for it is rage. Mysogynist rage inspires styles like these. When we encourage girls and women to objectify themselves and when we embrace things that weaken us in the hopes of being “sexy”, we wound the Feminine within us. Often, we don’t realize we are trading power for proximity, thinking it is the price of love.

This doesn’t mean that we can’t or shouldn’t be both powerful and sexy— indeed every God and Goddess is. It means that we shouldn’t try to be sexy, or sexualize others, through stealing power.

I think about the many ways in which I have tried to hide my power in past relationships. I veiled my intelligence, allowing husbands and boyfriends to “teach me” and “guide me”, even to make decisions for me.

I gave my power away. Blasphemy, this wounding of the feminine.

It bears repeating. We are so often our own victims.

It’s good to see examples of those who embrace the Divine Feminine within themselves in all of its forms. Ayla is a beautiful teacher. She has been unflinchingly gentle with us since her rescue, allowing us to help her to heal and to care for her babies. Think about the strength and courage that would take. She was neglected and abandoned by someone, left on the side of the road on a bitterly cold day, heavily pregnant and unable to even stand and walk to safety– utterly vulnerable. And yet, rather than being filled with terror at the sight of us, Ayla marshalled her courage and opened her heart. To trust is to risk everything, but to keep our hearts closed is to refuse growth, life, and love itself.

The clearest manifestation of Divine Feminine that I ever witnessed was Penny Power. She drew so many of us, of every species, to her with her deep and loving strength, a beautiful balance of soft rain and fierce thunder, nurturing each of us to bloom into beautiful flowers while also standing firm and clear in her own power, refusing to be fenced in, refusing to be defined by anything as mundane as species or age or her own past traumas. Penny led the Indraloka herd with grace and strength. A true Queen until her last breath.

And just like that, the storm passed. Not gone, but transformed. She remains in the mist, in the soil, in the wildfire of my soul. I walk with her now. Fierce. Soft. Whole.

The Rising: Welcoming Her Home

Justice, Shakti, Ayla and Penny Power found a path to wholeness, a way to reconnect with the Divine Feminine after it had been suppressed, wounded, and erased. I know in my bones that this is the way forward. To move through this painful time of my mother’s final storm, I must stay deeply connected to the Shakti within, the Divine Feminine of my own soul. Reconnecting with the Goddess can nurture us to heal and grow in the same way that rain and storms nourish the earth and encourage flowers to sprout, reach towards the sun, and blossom.

To do this, I call upon three tools: ritual, relationship, and reverence.

Ritual

I meditate and chant each morning, invoking Green Tara, Goddess of Compassion and asking her to live within me, to heal me and all that I touch. I return, over and over, to my yoga. Folding, flowering and folding again, with each in-breath and outbreath inviting power with flexibility, balance with strength, action with rest.

Studies of retreats that use rituals, meditative awareness, and the metaphor of the goddess or Divine Feminine have been found to help participants reconnect with their bodies and sense of self. In doing so, we shift emotional, cognitive, and physical states, setting us back on the path of wholeness (Plancke, 2020). And mind–body practices like yoga and quigong have also been observed to help us transcend trauma through processing emotions, developing self-compassion, and reconnecting with our bodies (Nixon, 2024; Myers, et.al., 2015).

Relationship

I lean on my sisters, the goddesses in my life, for wisdom and comfort, strength and inspiration. Some of these are human, and most of them are not. In all of them I see my mother’s eyes looking back at me, but the version she was, and will be again as her soul continues its boundless journey– a fierce goddess called forth by the cries of countless gods who need saving from the demon of imbalance. Across cultures, we who have transcended trauma identify reconnecting with ourselves, others, and the world as central to healing. This includes regaining control, building relationships, and finding hope and fulfillment (Sinko, et. al. 2019).

Reverence

And I pray, fanning the flames of my own sacred radiant force, feeding it with the power of a thousand storms, calling on Durga with every breath, resting in my Earth mother’s arms. Spirituality, including experiences of the Divine Feminine, can provide comfort and resilience (Jouriles et. al, 2025; Myers, et. al., 2015).

When have you silenced the feminine in yourself to survive? What might it look like to welcome her home? What daily practices help you reconnect with her— movement, prayer, time in nature, creativity, animal companionship? What would it feel like to live in harmony with both your inner feminine and masculine?

An Invitation

You have all of the softness and the power of Shakti in your own soul. Don’t fear her! Remove her collar and set her free. When we stand strong and true as the fierce and nurturing beings that we are, we transcend our own trauma and harness the power of the Divine Feminine to restore balance in our souls. Sometimes, we water our healing with gentle raindrops. At other times, the rage of thunder and the clarity of lightning bring enormous good to the world around us.

The world needs balance. You need balance. We all embody the Divine Feminine as well as the Divine Masculine. When we restore balance in our own soul, not only do we restore our own wholeness, but we contribute to the healing of all of earth and every creature she holds.

Ayla, unflinchingly gentle with us since her rescue, allowing us to help her to heal, is a powerful example for us all. Even in her gentleness, there is the steady strength of knowing. The gaze of a being who has faced the storm and risen whole. Like Justice. Like you.

The storm and the fire live within all of us. The question is not whether we carry them, but how we choose to dance with them. Will we run from the lightning, or will we let it strike the chains from our hearts?

This Summer Solstice, I am gathering with others who are ready to remember. To reclaim. To reconnect with the fierce, forgotten faces of the Divine Feminine within and around us—in our own souls, in one another, and in the animals and earth who guide us. If you feel her rising in you, you are welcome to join us for The Rising: Calling Forth the Divine Within. We will sit with animals who have reclaimed their power, walk in silence beneath the wide, wild sky, and call on the sacred through meditation, ritual, and reflection. Together, we will let the fire in the storm teach us how to burn clear again.

*Author’s Note: There is nothing inherently masculine in the word “god”, and because of this, I usually refer to the Divine of all genders as “god”, however, for the purpose of this piece, I felt the need to differentiate the embodied Divine Feminine from the embodied Divine Masculine, hence the use of “god” and “goddess”.

**Author’s Note: This story can be problematic when read from the lens of male gods creating the Goddess to fulfill their own needs. For the purpose of this piece, I am understanding this story with a wider lens: the Divine Masculine suffering from lack of balance and calling forth the Divine Feminine to restore balance. We all contain both the Divine Feminine and Masculine within us. Another potential problem with this entire article would be to consider only two genders that are mutually exclusive. In fact, in every form of nature, we find individuals that are primarily masculine or feminine as well as individuals that more visibly embody both. To attain wholeness requires balance of masculine and feminine within.

References

Plancke, C. (2020). Bodily intimacy and ritual healing in women’s tantric retreats. Anthropology & Medicine, 27, 285 - 299. https://doi.org/10.1080/13648470.2019.1702774

Sinko, L., Burns, C., O'Halloran, S., & Arnault, D. (2019). Trauma Recovery Is Cultural: Understanding Shared and Different Healing Themes in Irish and American Survivors of Gender-based Violence. Journal of Interpersonal Violence, 36, NP7765 - NP7790. https://doi.org/10.1177/0886260519829284

Nixon, M. (2024). Exploring women's experiences of healing from sexual trauma through engagement in mind–body practices: A systematic review. Counselling and Psychotherapy Research. https://doi.org/10.1002/capr.12747

Jouriles, E., Sitton, M., Rancher, C., Johnson, J., Reedy, M., Mahoney, A., & McDonald, R. (2025). Spirituality, self-blame, and trauma symptoms among adolescents waiting for treatment after disclosing sexual abuse.. Child abuse & neglect, 160, 107214. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chiabu.2024.107214

Goldpaugh, D. (2021). Finding the divine within: exploring the role of the sacred in psychedelic integration therapy for sexual trauma and dysfunction. Sexual and Relationship Therapy, 37, 314 - 323. https://doi.org/10.1080/14681994.2021.1994138

Myers, N., Lewis, S., & Dutton, M. (2015). Open Mind, Open Heart: An Anthropological Study of the Therapeutics of Meditation Practice in the US. Culture, Medicine, and Psychiatry, 39, 487-504. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11013-014-9424-5